Two Kinds of Secrets
by prJackWalker
Summary: Paul curiosity leads him to discovery something he never knew before. poem and story ikarishipping :P


"Ok Electabuzz return!"

In a flash of white light my Pokemon returned to its pokeball. I sat in the grass, exhausted from today's training. I knew we had accomplished nothing today. _Pathetic, what a complete waste of time! _I thought _Everyday...we're in the same exact place from where we started...just great..._

The wind blew calmly over the Sinnoh region,, blowing through my long purple hair. I spit it out of my mouth and brushed it from my face. I hadn't noticed how cold it got all of a sudden. I wrapped my arms around my shoulders, warming up a bit. _Wish there was someone here I could talk to...this is boring. _I turned toward the setting sun, not to far away. Casting its orange glow upon the once blue skies of the afternoon. I turned away, suprisingly disappointed. I waited to see something there but it hid from me.

A huge roar rose in the air. I looked behind me. The near by contest hall filled with the excited faces of the spectators as the next contest began._ Everyone is over there enjoying themselves, while over i'm here working, training to become the best_,"Hmph"_ No time for breaks..._ But still, curiosity kept calling to me. I stood up and walked over, hands in my pockets to the contest hall._ No harm in checking out the coordinators, I might even witness theirs flaws causing their downfall._ I chuckled to myself.

The lines for the contest had calmed downed. I easily snuck into the contest hall without too much trouble. I walked through the contest halls massive doors. Littered about the great halls were flyers and candy wrappers. The roar of the crowd grew closer through the halls. Everyone was already in their seats waiting for the coordinators to begin, all in hopes of winning enough of their ribbons to eventually reach the Grand Festival.

I walked to the nearest open door way leading to the coordinators who were already participating. My footsteps echoed through the contest hall, it was annoying how loud they were, like a Snorlax stomping through here. _Hmmmmm _I thought long and hard but couldn't quite remember anyone I knew who had been a coordinator.

I turned toward the first door I could find, not noticing the sign on it. I felt my face turn warm as I opened the door and peered inside. I jumped back, aghast at the sight before me. Not of disgust but of suprisment. I couldn't look away.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

"S-Sorry, wrong room." I shut the door behind me running into another part of the contest hall. I glimpsed back at the sign on the door **GIRLS DRESSING ROOM.**. _You...you..._ I couldn't think of any words to call myself. Pervert, Idiot, Brilliant and Wow were just a few that were at the edge of my tounge. _Paul, try not to let something else like that happen...there's only one other dressing room you can end up in now!_

I guess I was talking out loud to myself because people were staring at me. I ignored them and I shot a Like-I-Care glance at them and made my way toward the stage. My voice continued to echo through out the halls.

People continued staring at me as I walked. _Just because your paranoid... doesn't mean they're not after you,_ I chuckled. I didn't want to get caught and sent out when I had already had gotten so far. I casually whistled, erasing any presence of who I was or my intentions. The halls were so lonely and eerie. The distant roar of the crowd left it all up to my imagination. It was so persistant in driving me to the point of insanitiy. I ran up to the wall and punched it.

Pain shot through my hand as I felt my heartbeat through it. A felt my knuckle move from side to side, excruciating pain followed. You can say if they caught me right now, I would have been caught literally red handed. I grabbed a few napkins off a pretzel stand and wrapped it around my hand.

I continued walking, hoping I wouldn't miss the rest of the contest. The first open doorway I found leading to the stage was the opportunity I was looking for. I looked around, the audience sat on either sides of me. I crouched down, hoping not to get seen.

My hand continued throbbing but I kept myself calm. I watched the young coordinators go on one by one to show off their Pokemon. None of them of course could ever stand up to me in a battle. _I'll catch the strongest and flatten them, the Pokemon I have now can't do anything right...What does it matter? _

A girl took the stage with her Glameow. She had short red hair and was probably not much older than I was. She and her Glameow impressed the judges and I hate to say I was also impressed. _I have to give it to her, she and her Glameow work well together..._I looked down at my Pokeballs, wondering something that hadn't crossed my mind earlier. _...Forget it..._

One coordinator who was really impressive there, was a short brown haired kid with his Prinplup. In perfect union those two were. I was usually not impressed by many things, but the coordinators here really knew how to work with their Pokemon. _I should start watching more contests on T.V._

I looked down at my hand. It had stopped throbbing and had calmed down. **" And now introducing..." **The announcer was about to announce the next coordinator. _Great. _I thought. _What new, unexperienced, young coordinator is up Now? _**"Please , make her feel welcome...Dawn and her Piplup!" **I turned around and looked out to the stage. _Who?_

The spotlights moved toward the center, a young girls with beautiful long blue hair walked out. She was wearing a pink dress with small red ribbons on it. Time seamed to move slowly as she walked out. I felt imobolized by her presence as she walked by me. So near I could almost reah out and feel her dress. _It's...Dawn..._I was astounded that I had managed to remember her name. _The troublesome girl that's traveling with Ash...wow, she looks... amazing. _Her Piplup walked beside her, with a proud and triumphant look on its face.

There was something about her, right then and there. Something it made me feel numb and so warm and calm inside. I grabbed one of the clean napkins form my hand. Pulling my pack from my shoulder, I opened it. Digging through it for a while, I finally found what I was looking for, a pencil. My mind went blank. My eyes entranced on her beauty.

_Doesn't really matter, just what you think of me_

_I couldn't care less of what you we're thinking_

_How do you find it so easy to see_

_Through the darkness, the light comes easily_

I read over what I had written. I guess I fooled everyone. I might have been caught up there but that didn't mean I felt differently. But still one thing did intrigue me, why was it me and not someone else? It didn't matter anyway, I don't need friends or a girl for that matter. Still I couldn't shake that part of my mind that forced me to write that.

"Ok Piplup, Let's go!"

She was ready to begin. My body leaned forward, interested in what she would do._ I wonder...I've never seen her and her pokemon...Well too tell you the truth i'm all out of good things to say..._

I lost my balance and fell flat of my face. "Ow!" My once healed and calm hand started throbbing again. It had apparently broken my fall and of course my face wasn't all that pretty either. I pressed my hand up against my forehead, a huge scrape lay across it._ Just... _"...Perfect!!"

"Quiet, down there!" I heard a voice say.

I looked up and saw and older looking man, staring down at me. Along with him, others stared at me with their angry eyes.

"Look son," he said. "You might not see past your nose, but we here, see something magnificent in these here contests, so could you try to keep it down?"

That night I wasn't really in a mood to be told what to do, especially after my severe head injury. Still, I managed to keep my head on.

"...Sorry" I said in almost a whisper. I saw them turn. I guess they were satisfied with my answer.

After that little mishap, I wanted to leave. I sat down in the dark part of the entrance. I enjoyed being hidden there. I covered my face, I knew no one had seen me fall but I felt so embarrassed. My hand on my forehead felt wet, It was red but not as much as my hand.

Poking my head out of the side, I saw Dawn was just beginning. My cheeks suddenly felt very warm. I was blushing. I looked up toward the ceiling, I felt ashamed, making a total fool of myself...in front of her. An invisible mistake that only I knew about.

_Never staying too long, walk alone into the dark_

_Today I've finally awoken from this dream_

_If these words stay true, then I don't know where to start_

_Don't tell my secrets that you keep_

My writing wasn't helping at all. I felt so distant from others. I mean look at me, i'm sitting on this filthy floor, adoring a girl who probably doesn't even care about..._ Did you say adore?_ I froze. Did I really say that?

Dawn was instructing her Piplup, I looked on.

"Ok Piplup, use whirlpool"

"Pipluuuup"

A fantastic whirlpool arose from the tiny Piplup, twisting and turning in the air. _Her piplup is far stronger than I had imagined... she would make a good challenger... oh great I could see it now, she'd probably get angry at me again for some other tiny reason...forget it._

"Now Piplup, use Bubblebeam."

"Pip-lupluplup"

Piplup launched bubbles into the cyclone. The bubbles glowed and sparkeled in the spotlight. They danced and spun around the whirlpool, bursting into a rainbow of color.

The audience was entranced by her performance. I hated to this. She had certaintly had developed her skills. Why couldn't I just walk up to her and say how much I enjoyed watching her contest, or how her skills as a coordinator were excellent...or even a simple hello?_ Why would she even want to...have anything to do with me._

_All that I know is that you can only go so far_

_By making this world a little colder_

_Embrace what's in front, standing where you are_

_Don't do it for me then do it for her_

I remembered how cute she looked, angry that day at the Oreburgh gym. I still wonder why she got so upset. Did I really hurt her that badly? Guess I have built such an impenetrable box around myself, loving but cold and heartless.

_I tried to say i'm sorry, didn't mean to break your heart_

_I find it hard just to breath your name_

_So much I want to tell you, but to me it seems so hard_

_but I don't know what I'd do if you walked away_

"Please give it up for Dawn and her Piplup!"

I stood up and ran out. _Is it already over? how long was I asleep?_

She had won. The ribbon was all hers. Proudly she jumped and it gleamed in the light. Twirling around, present her prize to everyone. I could help but feel her emotions at the time. My spirit was lifted from the darkness.

I ran over to the stage as the confetti poured out of the ceiling, celebrating another victory. I wasn't in control, my heart pulled me over. One part of me pulled me closer to her, the other held me back. She turned over in my direction and smiled. I froze. Could she have seen me?

_I never really wanted to let you get inside my heart_

_I wanted to believe this would soon be ending_

_I thought it wouldn't matter, if it all just came apart_

_But now I realize I was just pretending..._

My arms were hanging open. ready to embrace her. My face burned so badly, it poked at my injury. My palms cried tears of joy. _This is getting weird..._I thought, _Weird but...nice...somehow_. I closed my eyes and waited for her_. Do you really expect her to come here just like that? _I ignored him and continued to wait, the anticipation grew.

She ran right past me. Into the arms of Ash and Brock.

"I did you guys!" She was so overjoyed. "Look at my new ribbon!"

"Congratulations Dawn." Brock said.

Ash gave her a high-five "I knew you could do it."

I stood there, dumb-struck. I felt myself sinking into the ground. I fell hard. I'm nothing but invisible to her. _...just great..._ The paper in my hand sat there, my heart and soul scribbled there.

"Oh...who am I kidding!" I crumpled the piece of paper and tossed it over my shoulder, I felt something warm and wet hit my wrist "Im outta here." I stuffed my hands in my pocket and walked off, out of the contest hall.

"Where im going now...is anybody's guess. "

* * *

Dawn twirled around the stage celebrating with her Piplup. Paul walked from the contest hall into the coldness of the night, every time he breathed, white mist escaped his mouth and nose. He didn't notice the young girl behind him or the piece of paper that flew from his open backpack.

Dawn slowed down as she came outside. _Was that ...Paul?_ she looked down and saw a piece of paper caught in the storm drain. Dawn bent down and rescued it from its moist fate. Written on it was a poem in Paul hand writing.

Scribbled on the back were a few words just recently written. Red blotches stained the paper.

_Tell me all the reasons_

_Is there any point to these feelings_

_If could only turn around_

_Just before I hit the ground_

_You'll see_

_Growing love, it's too blind_

_Stretching out, it's hard to find_

_Go ahead and cut me down_

_With you i'll stay and hang around_

_I'll stay_

_Didn't think i'd turn around_

_Today._

_Keep them safe, what are the words _

_Etched deep inside of me_

_What's the last that we've heard _

_Go ahead and hold me down_

_I didn't think i'd turn around_

_Today._

_Im watching time move slowly by_

_I promised but I know I tried_

_Why cry_

_I went along even though I hate the sound_

_Guessing where I'd end up now_

_Frozen, buried in the ground_

_Too late_

_Lost this heart and soon it can't be found_

_Don't wait_

_I can't belive i'd turned around_

_Today_

_There are two kinds of secrets: Those we keep from others and Those we keep from ourselves...I wish i hadn't kept this one, I love you Dawn..._


End file.
